Taking care of one’s hygiene is important. Whether it’s spiritual, mental, or physical, finding a balance to keep yourself clean and healthy can be a struggle. For many reasons people struggle to keep up with one, or all, of these areas. There is a reason that self-care books, blogs, podcasts, and work seminars have exploded in popularity these last few years. We are all starting to learn to pay attention to the more nuanced parts of our lives and realizing just how neglected they have been.
I struggle with transitions. I am perfectly fine once I am actively doing something, but getting over the inertia can often be the biggest issue. This shows up when it comes time to bathing, brushing teeth, getting dressed, starting the laundry, sitting down to write, and many other areas. Once I get over the initial inertia, I’m fine, happy, and more than able to complete the task. However, that first step is always a doozy.
Getting INTO the shower is the issue, getting OUT of the shower is the second issue. Getting the laundry in the washer is cake. Moving it to the dryer is a bit harder. Taking it out of the dryer and putting it away? Impossible. Executive dysfunction likes to show up with its friend self-esteem issues and do a little jig around my brain while the pile of clean laundry stares at me menacingly from the closet.
Not only does this impact my physical hygiene, but it also impacts my space, my mind, and thus my spirit. It’s exhausting and I know that I’m not alone in this struggle.
So what to do?
In a word? Grace.
You need to give yourself grace when things get bad, and pace yourself when things are going well (to avoid burnout). You can also reach out for help from those you care about, or even simulate that experience using podcasts, music, or videos.
One of the strategies I employ regularly is called Body-Doubling. This is where I have someone else in the room with me, on the phone, or otherwise present to help me stay grounded. They don’t have to engage in the activity with me (such as putting away my clean clothing) but their very presence makes it easier to stay on task. Body-Doubling is something suggested for those with ADHD diagnoses (among others) but works for a wide swath of people. Just having someone to talk to you while you make dinner can have the whole experience go from a chore to an activity you enjoy. Putting together a laundry folding and TV date night / friends’ night can take the repetitiveness out of the activity and give you something to look forward to next laundry day.
I often simulate Body-Doubling by listening to a podcast I enjoy or a Marco-Polo group as I wash dishes and putter around the house decluttering. I find that the task goes by a lot faster in my brain, and I can often clean for an hour straight without losing steam. I talked for 45 minutes with an old friend the other day, and managed to put away the three weeks’ worth of laundry that was mocking me in my closet AND sweep.
Not only chores get done via this method. When I brush my teeth, I often have FB reels or TikToks playing to help ensure I spend the whole 2 minutes brushing. I know that too much media consumption can stress the brain out and balance must be struck – but if the only time I watch these micro videos is when I’m getting my dental hygiene on – I figure it’s a win-win.
I also remind myself that anything worth doing, is worth doing badly. If my mental health can only handle putting away three shirts today, then that’s what I put away. If I don’t have the energy to brush, floss, and mouthwash – then I do one of those three. The thought of making dinner drives my brain into a frenzy; Everyone can fend for themselves or make microwave pizza (the kids are old enough now to re-heat left overs or make some box meals).
The Tie-In
One of the first steps to most rituals is to cleanse your space. Many even suggest a ritual shower/bath prior to doing any workings and want you functioning in as clear an energetic space as possible. When you struggle with basic organizational tasks and physical hygiene it’s hard to engage in magical workings that have these steps.
I know for a fact that the way my house looks is a direct reflection of how my brain feels. If the kitchen counter gets too cluttered for too long, there are socks all over the living room and the closet floor is covered in “I’ll put it away later” stuff – my brain can’t focus on making a phone call – let alone calling on my power.
Most of the time the only energetic work I CAN do is getting my environment back to homeostasis and functional. It’s not Magazine level staged, you can still tell people live here, but it looks like company could come over without me having to apologize "for the mess". This honors my house and helps me express gratitude to the energy that keeps my family safe. This feeds my wards and helps me re-focus on my own personal health and wellbeing. THIS is where self-care starts for me.
When my house is in this stage of clean I can focus on the house-bound energy. I can set intentions for the moon cycle, or participate in larger online coven workings. I can sit down and study my craft and even engage in crafts. I just have to first handle the hygiene of my environment to get into the mental space to feel the connection that is always there.
So, my friends. When you start to feel like your magical self is being neglected, or if you are struggling to take that shower, put away those clothes, or take care of that garden – give yourself some grace. Recognize that ANYTHING you do in any of those areas helps to rebalance all those areas. Finding a way to address the heart, mind, body, and soul in turn can help you regain some ground. It’s not easy. The way the world is right now doesn’t help. We are all out here just doing the best we can trying to figure out how to function. No one has it right. There is no one answer on how to live and create joy. Your efforts are valid and it is more than ok to reach out for support.